Fight Like A Girl.
This is the rallying cry of my endo sisters. It’s a true one. Living with endometriosis or adenomysosis is one long never ending battle.
A fight to get a diagnosis.
A fight to get effective treatment.
A fight to get to work, to stay in work, to not be fired.
A fight to be understood, not called crazy, or ‘making it up’.
A fight to keep friends.
A fight against exhaustion.
A fight against insomnia.
A fight with foods which trigger symptoms.
On top of all this a constant battle with our own bodies. A battle with the pain. Most of all a battle to never let that pain beat us. For some of us, it does beat us, suicide does happen. I myself came very close to reaching for that sharp knife in a desperate attempt for anything which would stop the pain.
The pain is the hardest battle of all, there is no cure, there are no drugs which are effective, there is only pain. So we fight like a girl, curled up with our hot water bottles, our drugs, feeling our lives vanishing into duvet days and the four walls of our bedroom.
It’s a vicious circle, the endless fighting to keep going, and to operate in the normal world, drains our resources, the cortisol running havoc in our bodies and depleting our vitamins and minerals.
When I was in my 30’s I caught myself thinking ‘my period is due, if I leave a sharp knife by my bed then I can end it all when it gets too bad‘. Worst of all it took me a few days before I realised that I needed another plan, despite the fact that it seemed there were no other plans available.
Now I’m in my 40’s I no long fight like a girl.
I am an Endo-goddess, empowered both because of and in spite of my daily experiences with the symptoms of endometriosis.
I have given up the fight, and so I have won the battle.
These days, my pain is manageable. My diet is awesome and IBS gone. My fatigue is carefully factored in to my lifestyle. My social life is up and down, (thank goodness for social media) and I have a strong supportive friendships to keep me smiling.
I don’t fight, this means I’m not wasting my energy of trying to be normal. I’m not putting my body through difficult and painful situations for no good reason.
I listen to my bodies needs, I work with my intuition, I treat my condition holistically, with both drugs, hypnosis, diet, supplements, meditation etc etc.
I understand the limits of my life, and so I can still do, plan, live and feel like I have a life worth living. I have learnt to say No and to put my needs first as much as possible.
I have adjusted my normal, because my normal is the same as millions of other endo sisters across the globe.
I know when I need to break down and have a good blub at the sheer ‘unfairness’ of it all.
I am in a place of acceptance and peace with living with this condition and I continue to search for ways to live free from it, and ways which makes my life easier and easier.
Acceptance does not mean inevitable, it means I am working with what I have with the expectation that change is always a possibility, a discovery yet to make.
Let me leave you with one of my top tips to take care of your body:
Managing the Cortisol release in our body is an oft neglected part of our health regime. Cortisol gets released from chronic pain, so you can imagine you have alot of it. Cortisol then runs avoc through our system depleting and destroying essential vitamins. Replacing those vitamins as fast as you can is really important to help reduce the impact on your fatigue, energy and general wellness.
Personally I hate taking supplements, I think they are just expensive wee! However then I met Lucy Batham-Reed from http://www.loveursoulwellbeing.com/ who agrees that most tablets we take are wasted. So she developed special combination vitamin sprays. I love them, when ever I am in pain, or in stress I instantly grab the Vitamin D and Vitamin B sprays from my handbag and replenish my body. Because they are sprays they go straight into your system (not into your wee) and you can also adjust how much or how little you want to take. Such a simple and effective way of supporting and nurturing your body in time of crisis.