Women love to talk, and men don’t!
Personally I don’t buy into this sweeping separation of the sexes. We all know know people who fall into both camps. Many men love a good gossip, many women would rather sit back and watch than reveal their own thoughts and opinions.
In times of upset, well meaning friends will of course say, ‘I’m here if you want to talk‘.
The truth is most of us, don’t want to talk. We don’t want to reveal our deepest secrets, we don’t want to talk about how we feel for fear of those emotions, for fear that those emotions will take us over. We don’t want to speak up and be judged. We are scared to admit what is going on and saying it out loud will make it real.
Of course therein lies the healing.
Saying something out loud does make it real. Once it is real, it can be understood, it can be judged as true or false. It can be changed.
The problem I have with that is it all sounds highly traumatic!
Suppose you’re not even talking about the right thing!
This is where I parted company with professions like counselling and psychotherapy and EFT.
Don’t get me wrong, in certain circumstances these professions all offer an incredible tool for healing. However both these techniques require a lot of time and ALOT of talking, and usually a lot of tears to get results.
What often happens is that after all that talking an individual reaches a space of understanding. They now know why.
For me its not enough to understand why, in fact understanding why can be a totally frustrating exercise.
If you, (or your clients) want to create an effective change, to become a ‘better’, ‘nicer’, ‘happier’ person talking is a total waste of time.
This is why I became a psychodynamic healer. Why I now teach psychodynamic transformation through hypnosis.
Let me explain by using an example. We’ll call him Johny.
Johny is an intelligent professional but he is getting overlooked at work. He is shy, he doesn’t do well speaking in public. He is too nervous about crowds to go for drinks after work.
After doing some talking Jonny makes the assumption that the problem started back in school, when he made a fool of himself and the whole class laughed at him
Psychodynamic healers know that is not the reason for his problem.
Turns out when Johny was 4 he went to a birthday party, ate too many sweets, was sick and very unhappy. This is when it started. This is when a neurological pathway was laid down with the instruction to avoid social situations.
Psychodynamic healing doesn’t waste time, talking about all sorts of events along life’s highways which just reinforced that original neural pathway.
Psychodynamic healing finds that original pathway and the healing lies in creating a new neural pathway right there. Where the original programming took place.
Creating an alternative behaviour, an alternative thought, a better feeling.
There are many different ways to create those new neural pathways, unsurprisingly talking isn’t the main technique. Psychodynamic transformation techniques utilise all the ways that the brain learns, sense, sound, vision, taste, touch. (NLP professionals will immediately spot how their techniques are aplicable in this type of transformation .)
Psychodynamic goes deeper and creates permanent change.
Now that sounds like something worth talking about.
If you would like to book a healing intensive direct with me, please send a query using the contact us box on the right.
Psychodynamic healing and transformation; making the world a better place.