Talking is a waste of time.

Women love to talk, and men don’t!

Personally I don’t buy into this sweeping separation of the sexes. We all know know people who fall into both camps. Many men love a good gossip, many women would rather sit back and watch than reveal their own thoughts and opinions.

In times of upset, well meaning friends will of course say, ‘I’m here if you want to talk‘.

The truth is most of us, don’t want to talk. We don’t want to reveal our deepest secrets, we don’t want to talk about how we feel for fear of those emotions, for fear that those emotions will take us over. We don’t want to speak up and be judged. We are scared to admit what is going on and saying it out loud will make it real.

Of course therein lies the healing.

Saying something out loud does make it real. Once it is real, it can be understood, it can be judged as true or false. It can be changed.

say something out loud

The problem I have with that is it all sounds highly traumatic!

Suppose you’re not even talking about the right thing!

This is where I parted company with professions like counselling and psychotherapy and EFT.

Don’t get me wrong, in certain circumstances these professions all offer an incredible tool for healing. However both these techniques require a lot of time and ALOT of talking, and usually a lot of tears to get results.

What often happens is that after all that talking an individual reaches a space of understanding. They now know why.

So what!

Transformation does not come from Understanding.

Transformation does not come from Understanding.

For me its not enough to understand why, in fact understanding why can be a totally frustrating exercise.

If you, (or your clients) want to create an effective change, to become a ‘better’, ‘nicer’, ‘happier’ person talking is a total waste of time.

This is why I became a psychodynamic healer. Why I now teach psychodynamic transformation through hypnosis.

Let me explain by using an example. We’ll call him Johny.

Johny is an intelligent professional but he is getting overlooked at work. He is shy, he doesn’t do well speaking in public. He is too nervous about crowds to go for drinks after work.

After doing some talking Jonny makes the assumption that the problem started back in school, when he made a fool of himself and the whole class laughed at him

Psychodynamic healers know that is not the reason for his problem.

Turns out when Johny was 4 he went to a birthday party, ate too many sweets, was sick and very unhappy. This is when it started. This is when a neurological pathway was laid down with the instruction to avoid social situations.

Psychodynamic healing doesn’t waste time, talking about all sorts of events along life’s highways which just reinforced that original neural pathway.

Psychodynamic healing finds that original pathway and the healing lies in creating a new neural pathway right there. Where the original programming took place.
Creating an alternative behaviour, an alternative thought, a better feeling.

There are many different ways to create those new neural pathways, unsurprisingly talking isn’t the main technique. Psychodynamic transformation techniques utilise all the ways that the brain learns, sense, sound, vision, taste, touch. (NLP professionals will immediately spot how their techniques are aplicable in this type of transformation .)

Psychodynamic goes deeper and creates permanent change.

Now that sounds like something worth talking about.

If you would like to become psychodynamic healer we offer a diploma for career changers  or certification to add this to your toolkit.

If you would like to book a healing intensive direct with me, please send a query using the contact us box on the right.

Psychodynamic healing and transformation; making the world a better place.

Make the World A Better Place.

Make the World A Better Place.

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Because I can’t meditate …..

The Art of Meditation with The Art of Hypnosis

Meditative State

I frequently hear people say that they can’t do meditation, they get distracted or can’t visualise.
Personally I am just useless at meditation, my mind wonders, I can’t ‘see’ what ever I am supposed to be looking at.

Yet I know the benefits of regular meditation, the beneficial effect on the health and the mind are indisputable.
So now whenever I am required to meditate, I simply access a very light state of hypnotic trance instead.  
Of course, being in an hypnotic state, is very similar to meditation, but it is a different level of awareness, and one which I believe creates even more benefits than meditation alone.  

The principle of meditation and trance are the same.  They both work in harmony with the bodies natural Circadian and Ultradian Rythms.  Ultradian Rythms are present when we are both awake and asleep.
Those moments whilst sleeping when we become aware we need to change positions, those moments when awake when we seem to ‘zone’ out for awhile, and have no idea what our friend has just been talking about. 

Both hypnosis and meditation operate in those misty levels between awake and sleep.

The hypnotic trance however works at a deeper level than meditation.  When in trance the activity of the conscious mind is irrelevant (whilst it can be distracting during a meditation), being able to visualise is easier whilst under trance and accessing inner truths is clearer.

Thus a greater access to answers from the intuition, to impressing new ideas in vision or word upon the subconscious mind  is available through hypnotic trance.

This is key as it is when the subconscious mind is in agreement and alignment with your suggestions or visualisations the quicker the results are felt in the physical world.

Thus the idea of combining the skills of meditation and hypnotic trance was put into action with my Hypnosis for Beginners course or Hypno-meditation as I like to call it.


Hypno meditation is a skill that allows you to:

Give your clients a tremendous will power boost from within

Embed the goals of sessions deep in the sub conscious mind

End your sessions in a calm peaceful space for your client

Increase the success of your meditations

Thus the power of accessing the subconsious mind, of using the energy of the inner mind and gifting that little extra piece of peace will be felt by more than ‘just’ the people who are good at meditating.

Next Masterclass is: Tuesday 2nd September nr Brighton, West Sussex.

You can use the contact form if you would like to learn more or register your interest.

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Easy Steps to Mastering Affirmations

thoughtsThe Law of Attraction and the Law of Vibration

Affirmations, they are a bit of a laugh. Conjuring up images of Hollywood films from the 1980’s with the self-smug characters talking at themselves in the mirror. Affirmations are a key tool when working with the Law of Attraction, but they only when work when you understand the Law of Vibration.

When  ‘The Secret’ hit the bookshelves suddenly affirmations became The thing to do. A great belief that if I say 100 times that ‘I am getting a promotion’, then a promotion will just happen.

Of course any metaphysical practitioner will know that, it can happen. Words have power and Manifestation is a powerful tool when you use it right.

But if you are not a metaphysical practitioner, if you haven’t received the right training on manifestation, the law of attraction and the law of vibration well then those words will just remain words. They haven’t been empowered.

Three Steps to Create Your Ultimate Affirmation

So, let’s get you started on a crash course, a short guide so you can start creating a daily affirmation practice that will work for you.

Step One ~ Your Learning Style

What is your learning style? Just as teachers try to adapt their teaching methods to the different learning styles of their students, you must adapt your affirmations to your learning style.
Do you learn by Reading? Writing? Listening?
Are you Creative? Structured?
Are you Left Brained or Right Brained?
There is no point in saying an affirmation out loud 100 times if your brain needs to read it to process it.

Create an affirmation ritual that matches your learning style.

inner magic

Step Two ~ Accurate Words

The words that you use to create affirmations is key. Words have power, so choose the right ones.
The brain and the subconscious mind responds to words very differently to the day-to-day mind.

If you are scared and you said to yourself “I am not scared, I am not scared, I am not scared“, well chances are you’re about to turn and leg it!
The brain needs a very clear instruction. Don’t tell it what not to do! Tell it what it needs to do.

” I am brave”!

 

Step Three ~ Create the Right Lie.

‘Time is an illusion (*lunchtime doubly so)’.
Live in the now, its great advice. Live in the present, the past can’t be changed and the future isn’t here yet.
This is how people can get confused when creating affirmations.

To change your future, you need to change the present.

It feels weird, as if you are just saying a big fat lie.

The brain doesn’t deal with future thoughts, it deals with the here and the now.

If you say you want something to happen now, and it is not actually happening now, then your mind will instruct your brain to work out how to make that happen.

Turn ‘I will get a promotion’ into ‘I have a promotion’.
Oh, you want a promotion, I’ll get straight on to that then”.

Your brain doesn’t interpret it as a lie, it just recognises that a new instruction has been given.

I let go of that which does not support my higher self

 

Next Step ~ The Law of Vibration

So putting together an affirmation practice that has powerful words that means the right thing to your brain gives you the tools to manifest and at attract what you want.

However the absolute key to lighting up an affirmation is to understand the Law of Vibration.

Are you connected with the kind of energy that your vibration is operating at?

So do you need to change your vibration to get your affirmations buzzing?

There are many ways that you can try to do this yourself. Singing, Dancing, (find a great song and change the lyrics).

However, shifting your vibration on your own takes time, time, time, repetition, dedication and commitment.

If you would like a guided course on changing your vibration then drop me a text, 07790035963 to find out how.

Joanne

This course is also taught as part of the Psychodynamic Hypnosis Diploma and Certification.

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Failure, play and adventure.

When we were small every failure was met with delight.

When we fell over whilst learning to walk we were praised.

Our natural instinct was to get up and try again. To keep going with sheer determination and will power.

That is our natural biological state. To enjoy the ride with tenacity.

Remember the adventure.

Training

How to live in peace with Endo

Fight Like A Girl.

This is the rallying cry of my endo sisters.  It’s a true one. Living with endometriosis or adenomysosis is one long never ending battle.

A fight to get a diagnosis.

A fight to get effective treatment.

A fight to get to work, to stay in work, to not be fired.

A fight to be understood, not called crazy, or ‘making it up’.

A fight to keep friends.

A fight against exhaustion.

A fight against insomnia.

A fight with foods which trigger symptoms.

On top of all this a constant battle with our own bodies. A battle with the pain. Most of all a battle to never let that pain beat us.  For some of us, it does beat us, suicide does happen. I myself came very close to reaching for that sharp knife in a desperate attempt for anything which would stop the pain.

The pain is the hardest battle of all, there is no cure, there are no drugs which are effective, there is only pain. So we fight like a girl, curled up with our hot water bottles, our drugs, feeling our lives vanishing into duvet days and the four walls of our bedroom.

It’s a vicious circle, the endless fighting to keep going, and to operate in the normal world, drains our resources, the cortisol running havoc in our bodies and depleting our vitamins and minerals.

When I was in my 30’s I caught myself thinking ‘my period is due, if I leave a sharp knife by my bed then I can end it all when it gets too bad‘.  Worst of all it took me a few days before I realised that I needed another plan, despite the fact that it seemed there were no other plans available.

Now I’m in my 40’s I no long fight like a girl.

I am an Endo-goddess, empowered both because of and in spite of my daily experiences with the symptoms of endometriosis.

 I have given up the fight, and so I have won the battle. 

goddess

You can read more of my story on this guest blog. “How I managed not to kill myself”

These days, my pain is manageable. My diet is awesome and IBS gone. My fatigue is carefully factored in to my lifestyle. My social life is up and down, (thank goodness for social media) and I have a strong supportive friendships to keep me smiling.

I don’t fight, this means I’m not wasting my energy of trying to be normal. I’m not putting my body through difficult and painful situations for no good reason.

I listen to my bodies needs, I work with my intuition, I treat my condition holistically, with both drugs, hypnosis, diet, supplements, meditation etc etc.

I understand the limits of my life, and so I can still do, plan, live and feel like I have a life worth living.  I have learnt to say No and to put my needs first as much as possible.

I have adjusted my normal, because my normal is the same as millions of other endo sisters across the globe.

I know when I need to break down and have a good blub at the sheer ‘unfairness’ of it all.

I am in a place of acceptance and peace with living with this condition and I continue to search for ways to live free from it, and ways which makes my life easier and easier.

Acceptance does not mean inevitable, it means I am working with what I have with the expectation that change is always a possibility, a discovery yet to make.

Let me leave you with one of my top tips to take care of your body:

 

Managing the Cortisol release in our body is an oft neglected part of our health regime. Cortisol gets released from chronic pain, so you can imagine you have alot of it. Cortisol then runs avoc through our system depleting and destroying essential vitamins. Replacing those vitamins as fast as you can is really important to help reduce the impact on your fatigue, energy and general wellness.

 

Vitamin B Complex, Vitamin C and Herbs

Vitamin B Complex, Vitamin C and Herbs

Personally I hate taking supplements, I think they are just expensive wee! However then I met Lucy Batham-Reed from http://www.loveursoulwellbeing.com/ who agrees that most tablets we take are wasted. So she developed special combination vitamin sprays.  I love them, when ever I am in pain, or in stress I instantly grab the Vitamin D and Vitamin B sprays from my handbag and replenish my body.  Because they are sprays they go straight into your system (not into your wee) and you can also adjust how much or how little you want to take.  Such a simple and effective way of supporting and nurturing your body in time of crisis.

Lucy has kindly given my blog readers a discount, so if you want to try a spray use the code Transform16 at the shopping cart.

If you would like to continue the conversation about being an #endogoddess then do connect with me on Twitter @JRBSoulMentor or Facebook /joannereevesbaker 
image of Joanne Reeves-Baker describing how to be an endo goddess

 

If you want to give up the fight and manage your condition with grace and ease then please join me on the Be an endo-goddess programme click here to learn more. 

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Thank frack that year is over

Thank goodness it’s 2015 at last.

Have you heard many of your friends say that? Have you said it yourself?

Two and even three years ago I was in that space, I was full of utter relief that such a horrible year was over. Except the next two years weren’t any good either. I went through such a dark, bleak time in my life. I became infertile, my husband returned from a war zone and developed PTSD, my marriage fell apart, one of my best friends died and it felt like my entire soul had been smashed into thousands of pieces and were never going to be put back together again.

When life is so dark like that, new year really is like the silver lining is within your grasp.  There is something about that midnight countdown which gives us hope that next year could be different.

It is up to us to grab that hope and do something with it.  Take actions which will make that new reality come true.  For me, well I have a tenacious spirit, I dug deep, I found inner strength which really shouldn’t have existed, I became a warrior determined to find the right healing to put my soul back together. Which I did (my ex-husand and I are now best friends!)

When we set our intention, no matter what else is going on, we can create the emotional energy to keep going. Even when the going gets rough.

thoughts

I had three years of being glad to see in a new year. Each year an opportunity to move onwards, upwards, towards something new, something different.

I often hear it said that “we create our own reality, “it’s the law of attraction; self fulfilling prophecies, we get what we put out there”. Of course all these have their place.

I say, We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can choose how we react to it.  Therein lies our sanity, our freedom.

So this year? Well 2014 was tough year for me.  The previous year I was struggling with a return of symptoms from the medical condition endometriosis and 2014 it got really bad. I had to cancel many courses, pull back on my clinic hours. I couldn’t see friends as a 10 minute drive was all I could manage before the pain debilitated me.  I had surgery (I react really badly to anesthetic) and it was only partially successful. Yes it was a tough year.

Am I glad to see 2015? Definitely, I’m so excited about picking up all the courses and plans I made and couldn’t do last year?

Am I glad to see the back of 2014? No, it was a great year, I spent all summer convalescing in the sunshine, my creative juices were flowing for all sorts of fun for this year, I had and implemented a great strategy to nurture my body, mind and soul. All in all it was a fascinating year for self awareness, staying with choices which make me happy.  It worked, I was in a place of peace, acceptance and through that previous tenacious spirit of warrior and healing I leave 2014 behind with a sense of achievement.

Even better it has inspired me to create a series of online courses for 2015. These will be me sharing my skills, strategies and techniques to Create Your Reality. #affirmations #copingwithillness #mantras #meditations (Let me know if you’re interested.)

 

We never know what life has in store, what challenges we will meet, what delights are in store for us. New Year is a great time to draw a line and face the world with a new brave face. We can of course choose to draw that line any time we want.

Anytime we need to be brave, new, determined, joyful (*delete as applicable) we can make that decision.

The actions we take next, are very much dependant on the strength of that decision.  Placing our reality firmly in our own hands.

Create a Happy 2015

Create a Happy 2015

 

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Christmas Grinch Passion

Being a Christmas Grinch, a yay or a nay?

It is no secret that this time of year is one of great polarity. It can be full of excitement and plans. Thinking about spending time with friends and family, full of laughter and giggles and silliness.

Unless its not!

Blast this christmas

It can be a really tough time of year. It can be a time of great depression and struggle.
There can be many reasons why this is a tough time of year.
It can be SAD, that sinking depressing feeling that comes from the lack of sunlight.
It can be utter exhaustion, from simply working too hard for too long and you have run our of steam.
It can be the first Christmas since the passing of a loved one, the pain of loss heightened. Or not even the first, just the loss is still felt.  

All in all it doesn’t feel like there is much to be feeling christmasy about. I’ve been there.

No Christmas

 If you need to take Christmas off this year. Then you go for it. It is completely acceptable to have a time off being a bit of a Grinch. There is no need to feel guilty about it, or to feel like there is something wrong with you. You don’t have to be bullied into pretending to be feeling the Christmas spirit, if you simply don’t. There will always be other Christmases. Other times for festivity.

If it was any other time of year you could give yourself the space, time to heal in whatever way works for you.

Your priority is to connect back to joy in the way that feels right for you. If that means no Christmas decorations, that’s fine. If it means you choose to hide away for a couple of days in your burrow before you reemerge back into the world again, then you do that.

bunny asleep

 

I’m all for a good wallow, with the cautionary pause around how long you let yourself wallow for.  Don’t over wallow.

The trick is to listen to your heart without guilt, without pressure, to really give yourself permission to be feeling the way that you feel. You will find that time will pass quicker and easier than when you struggle against it.

Go for it, be that Grinch. Surround yourself with self love, find the small things that will create a smile, moments of laughter, without stress or strain or expectation. All is well in the end.

Training